One of the great problems in the life of a Christian and in our churches is something that is hard to admit, though easy to recognize.
It is one of the most destructive and dangerous of all human emotions and if not dealt with, will spiritually destroy the person who has it.
- * It can rob you of your peace and joy.
* It is an open door for Satan to control you life.
* It can lead to the lost of good friends.
* It can hurt or destroy you relationship with your family, your wife
- breakup of your home.
* It make peace and harmony impossible.
* There can be no true biblical love where it exists.
* It destroys any true relationship with the Lord and will keep you from growing in the Lord.
* It will defeat you and ruin your life and the lives of those around you.
Definition: "adjective" 1 having a sharp, pungent taste or smell; not sweet. 2 causing pain or unhappiness. 3 feeling anger, hurt, and resentment. 4 (of a conflict) harsh and acrimonious - which means having ill feelings. 5 (of wind or weather) intensely cold.
It is the feeling of hurt, resentment, anger, and even hate that can build up in our hearts when we have been hurt by another person or by an experience in life. It can be directed towards other people and even towards God.
The Book of Hebrews was written last in the first century. Jerusalem had been destroyed, Jewish believers had been greatly persecuted. They had been harassed-mistreated. Because they believed in Christ their family and friends had turned against them.
There was a real danger that they would turn bitter, return to Judaism and give up on the Lord. They were prime candidates for bitterness.
Often in our lives people hurt us, take advantage of us, betray us, take credit for what we have done. Often people belittle us and elevate themselves and treat us badly....often with there being no fault of our own.
We did nothing to desire it and sometimes should have been praised or recognized for what we did, but were robbed of our reward.
The Root of Bitterness - Its Cause.
- How does bitterness take root in your heart. Before there is a root there is a seed. The seed is
- A. What is the result of bitterness?
- 1. Bitterness causes the person who holds it harm. It will rob you of your peace of mind, of joy in your life or satisfaction. Most of all it will deeply hurt your pride. 2. Saturate your mind. The root of bitterness can take hold our your mind. You find yourself thinking about the person who harmed your all the time. You cannot get over it or get it out of your mind.
In S.I. McMillen, MD book "None of these Diseases" he said: "The moment I start hating a person I become that person's slave. I can't enjoy life...he controls my thoughts...I can't escape his/her grasp on my mind. He or she may be many miles away, always in my mind."
ILLUS: The story is told of a very bitter woman who was bitten by a rabid raccoon. Test are run and the doctor tells her she has rabies. She then got out a notebook and began to write down names. The doctor asked if she was making a will. She replied, NO! I am making a list of all the people I am going to bite!
- B. You see....bitterness is sin. Sin breaks our fellowship with God and we then do not have
his blessing or guidance.- Bitterness is a personal sin and God clearly tells us that the wages of sin is death..... Sin is always destructive and this sin is one of the very worse.
- A. Like any sin, we must first admit it.
- 1. 1 John 1:8-10 says, If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." Yet there is a particular problem admitting bitterness. It is so very hard to admit. Why?
- "Because it was not you, but the other person who did the wrong, who hurt you, who said what the did, who abused your, who belittled you, who robbed you of your recognition."
2. You must confess your bitterness as sin. Eph. 4:29-32
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, where by ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
- 1. 1 John 1:8-10 says, If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." Yet there is a particular problem admitting bitterness. It is so very hard to admit. Why?
- 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
James 3:14 says, "But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth."
3. You must forgive the person who has wronged you. Eph. 4:32.
Husband, wife, church, pastor, church member, family member or friend, parent....no matter what the did to you or how grievously they harmed you.
Our natural nature...the old carnal nature says this person has hurt me so bad I can never forgive them. Maybe they continue to hurt you and seem to take pleasure it it. You see we feel justified in our resentment towards them.
Yet, as a believer we have been shown the love and forgiveness of Christ. He died for us when we were in rebellion against Him. Yes, we were guilty, but He loved us and showed that love by paying our sin debt...that we owed. We who have been shown such as wonderful love....can we do less.
- 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
- B. And let us further admit that even after God saved us we continue at times to sin....don't we? Is not being bitter a sin....and all sin is against God isn't it. He deeply hurt Him when we deny Him our love and obedience. It hurts Him to see us giving into sin and destroying ourselves. It also makes little of His sacrifice for us doesn't it? You know the sin of bitterness you harbor....it helped drive the nails into his hands and feet. It helped shove Him down on that old rugged cross, it helped beat Him until His body and face were amass of sores and torn flesh. WE HAD A REAL PART IN HIS SUFFERING AND DEATH .....DO WE DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN? Truly we do not, yet He forgave us when we believed.
Can't you, for the love of Christ...forgive someone who hurt you? Can't you for the love of Christ....give the matter over to the Lord? Even someone who continues to hurt or offend you and who is not deserving of forgiveness...?
ILLUS: Bitterness is bondage and what a joy to be set free from it. Years ago, Carolyn and I sacrificed our all for a church. We loved them and we cared for them and their relationship with the Lord. We gave them many years of our lives....we gave up family. We were not able to attend our son's wedding, or the birth of our grandson's. We have missed most of their lives. Yet this church showed its appreciation by treating us so very bad. It almost killed me....yet I had to let it go, or it would have destroyed me. They to this day have never apologized or tried to set the thing right....but they are forgiven and I hold no grudge against them. My prayer is that they will seek the Lord and get their hearts right with Him.
You must release them from the debt your feel they owe you.
- The invitation is simple: As Christ loved you....so love your neighbor, no matter what the sin against you....forgive them and put it aside. Turn the matter over to the Lord, ask Him to forgive you for your bitter feelings and then forgive that person.